John's Site

Eyes and a smile could light up the day and night, it would be the sun, though far away, heats up this globe perfectly...

Different types speak to different parts of my soul...

So many times I asked how do I not get intimately involved with so many visual beauties crossing my lens...

I went to a local photo store to pick up a paper for a background to use with my headshots. The Lord must have directed me to the wrong floor to blow past some time.

Once I found my way back to the area that I needed to be, I proceeded to order one super black and one super white roll of paper at $21.50 each.

While waiting, I heard the patron speak to another concerning a great looking girl that he has decided is too much for her, with the pun that she has too much drama lately…

I felt a desire to quib in but held my tongue.

What came across my mind to cast at them both was the fact that by in large, if a woman would simply grasp upon the power of her heart towards wholesomeness, she would leave him in the dirt when her eyes were open concerning God. Her mistake being that she has not understood yet that men are not GOD, and that she has placed far too much of her heart at the feet of this loser.

How I would have said it would have come out in other words such as… When she dumps your furry butt, no pun intended… and you lose your self righteous pig head, you might find her worthy of some neighborly affections, expounding to her that she ought to allow you to join her in prayer for God to heal her weakness, as you protected her vulnerabilities as any good man ought to.

Now this does not mean that I have not also had to realize this about myself, even at the expense of great pain and sorrow to my own soul, but I guess we can blame that on Adam too… Ah, and the fact that God needs his men to realize their place of wholesome character in his kingdom. So, I guess that means that I should also work on my men skills when thinking of how to admonish this potential brother in the ways of good neighborly character.

So, as much as this gives leadership another area to help us all through, at least we can identify the issue and treat our sisters with greater respect, of course, if they are wise enough to self-humble and receive it, as much as it does not belittle them… (Only darkness would make us think that the way to recovery is a high-minded road).

As for you ladies, God has already paid the price for your love and attention with the cross, not asking you to sleep with him first as some men do, before they pay a short attention to you, only to throw you to the curb when he feels too cluttered with your issues and lackluster in his friends eyes...

BTW, your girlfriend is not God either, neither is he or she a precursor to God...

There have been many since the NC group arrived, even before, but to focus on just this…

Sunday is my day to be involved in spiritual family tangibly, but throughout the week a fellow designer student was asking me to work with her on a photo shoot which ended up happening on Sunday at a office on the lower west side. I did not want to go but felt such a pull in my heart from God to be there. I went and felt comforted and anguished at the same time, but felt better when the Lord hammered out some kinks…

Other than the fact that it was a four look photo shoot, which should have taken no more than four hours, it became a long day from 10:30AM til 08PM, making it a challenge to get back to church to see off the NC group.

I was able to slip into the service as Pastor Adam said some awesome things…

I then saw off the group, which was a beautiful time, and another thing…

You see, I met one of the new NYC students on this journey over the past two weeks and promised that I would help to find her an internship with a company that would give her a chance to show her gift in graphics… I, of course said it in faith, not knowing the direction of God for it. However, God directed the designer to ask me “John, what does a shoot like this cost?” to which I replied, “Realistically, $750 is the minimum a shoot for corporate portraits and $450 is for editorial day rates, but usage of images for a website can range from $5k-20k for commercial usage… So, she went with that into a meeting while the rest of us dealt with lighting, hair and makeup.

She returned a few minutes later and said “John, they have agreed to all of your terms, both for the internship and usage, but in exchange for your services, would you be willing to accept a 20K do-over of your website?” Wow, Yes!

You can make out the details for yourself, I call this a blessing… (1909 images later for five looks)

Here then is the larger picture that I understood.

When God wrote the LAW for Moses to carry to the people, there was much bickering since many had fallen at that point short of the heart of God via their choices. Having now an understanding of compliance via the LAW, many murmured and complained about the legalistic side of their standings, having found themselves under many offences as come to light from the LAW. (Figuring out at what point of the relationship did God give the LAW), bbk. Before the separation and entering into the promise land.

We too, get into relationships with passions and personal perspectives concerning one another, hoping to bring to fruition these things in our hearts concerning one another, as our heart describes that lover to ourself. But when the (law/dictionary) of our hearts are truly known, after fear and hope of disconnect through promise is conquered, having said I do, many drop their sheathe of shame upon their selfish character and bring out the real us. It is in this moment that as the children under Moses stood for a time from the giving of the LAW til the crossing into the promise land, many fell short of the heart of God, choosing to stay back from the promise, preferring to remain broken.

For joy, were we in the jolly of time having no reason to assume that our potential lover had any real deep set issues with us, we thought ourselves impervious to shame, which is where many men and women open their physical bodies to know one another before the promises are reached, falling short if the law comes and describes what we each lack.

It is then a choice of repentance in our fallen areas, and grace through forgiveness before the promise is indulged in. Also, the choice towards if the relationship will continue, as to who will enter into the promise land of the relationship after they have forgiven one another.

Basically, one can love a person all they want, (money is an illegitimate buffer). 

If they are not willing to be responsible for their (sins) against the other, and there is no repentance (active stop), only a continuance of pain bearing, though some must bear their burden as well as that of another, suffering will continue...

God states that his grace is sufficient as well as Jesus stated that some men might not receive this saying…

Be neighborly to one another regardless, that God may forgive you both, even if one stays and the other leave.

When dealing with cases of homosexuality, how do we proceed...

The guys that will be returning to NC on Monday...

Be a brother to yours and our sister(s) without price or desire to bed her, that her heart might better understand how to love God and her own lover to come...

The absolute best possible relationship with Jesus or anyone begins and ends the day on the tongue. He has spoken you into existence and you have a chance to birth him into your heart. Sweet talk him with your tongue of love, not offering anything since you cannot purchase his love, but to entice him to come unto you within your soul.

 

Prepare yourself, that he might find you delicious to hear and speak to, for it is when you kiss his tongue with your ear that he will bring a single candle light and enflame you with a heart towards him that will never cease; unless of course, you forget daily to speak him into your space…

 

He wants to envelope you with such love that your belly cannot take another minute of it and simply strain to push him away, as you hold tightly. He is the greatest lover ever and none can mimic his quality. But another may let him into himself and bring himself unto you as a day-to-day playmate in the midst of your responsibility.

 

Be beautiful and let him in, and begin to know what true love is, without price or death; in fact, full of light, salt and life, eternally…

 

Be his friend today and live…

 

May a sweet flavor now overtake your tongue and let him slip into your heart, past your fears, only to call down the rains of heaven and light you up as never before…

 

Then you will be called a most desirable amongst all women and men.

 

Be thou blessed today.

 

Be a friend of God forever…

 

Share him in family always.

 

Be Loved

 

Be Love.

 

Love you are…

 

Soak in his light.

 

Be light…

 

Be forever light

 

You taste salty… to him

 

;P

the tongue, its wholeness or curse and the effects of it, measured against truth and grace...

Psychosomatically, I have always been fond of geometry, even as much as I understood it not. Something about understanding the bounds and less that struck me in some form of unity or chaos. So much so was this inner heart perspective, which spread over my eyes towards everything that I saw. Relationships became organized in a manner of priority where boundaries had meaning and overstepping them was taboo. Never was I able to encroach upon my assumed liberties unless its liberty was specifically verbalized, no matter how deaf the other was towards my real or assumed sight of their potential. This greatly limited my actions with, no matter how full my well was towards that one. Clarity often showed its face in the other’s concern or fear, regardless if self inspired or fed of a third party looking on. Faith birthed my excitement as faithlessness spawned anguish. Fondness often found itself an ingredient of mine, and in time, taste allowed with tender indulgence.

Having knowledge of your own boundaries is awesome to understand, where the fruitful potential of it upon another, without their permission and/or obedience is limited to their acceptance.

So when deafness or disconnect was never overcome, dam remained until it, through tears evaporated or was cut off.

As much as humility entered in the case of lacked ambition, memory wondered what fruits would have flourished in that land, never to be furnished with the waters of this heart.

As much as an available tap was left unto they who would, it became clear that this river, become ocean, having few turbulent waves, broke forth daily upon the beach only to return out to sea.

Perhaps the sea god could not love the land petal for its overwhelming power to crush her, as much as his well filtered through stone provided the right salination with restraint.

As some love to poke their feet in the sea, others will take a swim. It is of the waters to behave, as waters does, without discrimination, no matter how hungry its heart is, unless directed specifically of its own master, whose living word would not overstep his written word. Although all things as such were a mystery, past the understanding of mere men, at first, might sound off against.

I then understood: Boundaries were made, not adjunct as a challenge to overcome, but a gentle reminder that the edge of fruitfulness was being met. 

Religiosity is to build a house on the fear of an unreachable God.

A former Chicago securities trader and a recovering alcoholic, the 47-year-old Hartland, Wisconsin, resident spent two decades of his marriage stringing together empty promises and hollow apologies. First, because he was a workaholic, and later, because of his drinking.

"I wasn't always there for my family," Bohl says of Vicki, his wife of 24 years, and his two children. "I'd say, 'Hey, I'm going to go do something with the guys,' or, 'I'm going to do something at work. I'll be home at six for dinner.'"

Then he'd waltz in drunk or exhausted from working at 8 or 9 p.m., apologetic but ultimately unrepentant.

"When I was drinking, I was always sorry," he says. But, "it didn't mean anything. Because although I felt it and expressed it, I never took responsibility. My priorities were screwed up."

When it comes to politicians, athletes and other celebrities, apologizing has become a highly public and somewhat predictable event. Tears are shed, repentance is promised and the news cycle spins onward.

But what happens when it's a loved one or colleague who has transgressed and is apologizing? How do we judge their sincerity -- and how can the person who is apologizing win back the trust of those they've wronged?

Talk is cheap

For many people, a promise never to repeat the offense often constitutes the most important aspect of an apology, says Nick Smith, an assistant professor of philosophy at the University of New Hampshire and author of "I Was Wrong: The Meanings of Apologies." But, he adds, promises are just that -- only promises.

"The ultimate meaning of apologies, like the meaning of promises, depends on future behavior," Smith says, "and therefore we cannot conclusively judge them at the moment they are spoken."

Smith cites former New York Gov. Elliot Spitzer's public apology after it was revealed that he'd allegedly patronized a high-priced prostitution service: " We will have a much better sense of the meaning of [Spitzer's] apologies if we check in with him in 10 years."

In other words, it's up to the person who is apologizing to put their words into action, says Stephen Xavier, founder of Cornerstone Executive Development Group in West Lake Village, California, who's been coaching Fortune 500 executives on communications skills (including how to apologize) since 1987.

"You really have to ask the person what they expect you to do to make amends," Xavier says. Offer a solution if you can, whether it's paying for a fragile item you broke in a friend's home or absorbing the overnight shipping charges when you miss a professional deadline. For more serious misdeeds like an affair, he says, that means ending it immediately and seeking counseling.

Rebecca Hastings, 44, a mother of two, uses this restitution tactic to keep the peace in her home. Teaching her daughters, Ashley, 12, and Alex, 15, to suggest "appropriate consequences" when they've treated one another badly or lied about their homework being done has reduced the number of necessary apologies in her household.

"I ask them what they would do if they were the mom," says Hastings, who works as a Web writer for a professional association in the Washington, D.C. area. "Giving up allowance is a popular option."

The "back-handed apology"

Playing the blame game or not owning up to one's mistakes are the worst ways to apologize, Smith says. Phrases like "I am sorry that X bothers you" and "I am sorry you feel that way" won't win you any points in the forgiveness department.

"Like a back-handed compliment -- 'You are much less annoying today than usual' -- we might describe these as back-handed apologies," he says.

Rather than place blame or make excuses, Xavier suggests offering an honest explanation as soon as humanly possible before the wrongdoing "festers with people."

"If people understand the circumstance they tend to be a lot more forgiving," he says. "You're going to be embarrassed, but so what?"

This is what Eva Rosenberg, who's been a tax preparer for 35 years, did when she recently discovered she'd made a mistake on a client's 2006 tax return that caused her client to overpay by $1,300

Her client was "grateful" for her taking responsibility for the mistake, says the 55-year-old Northridge, California resident. She apologized, and is filing an amended tax return on the client's behalf, gratis. The IRS, she says, will refund the money, plus interest.

The repeat offender

But what about the chronic apologizer? Can someone with Bohl's track record ever offer an effective apology?

"If someone is always coming and apologizing, it's more than appropriate to say, 'We've got to talk. This is the sixth or eighth time you've been to me making these excuses or apologies. What's going on?'" Xavier says.

Rather than point fingers or try to shame the sheepish party, he says, help them find a way to eliminate the problem, be it missed deadlines or broken personal commitments.

Ultimately, though, it's up to the person doing the apologizing to change their ways. For Bohl, who's been sober three years and now works as a life coach, the solution was to get out of the high-pressure finance industry and undergo substance-abuse treatment.

"While I was doing well professionally and financially, I sunk to a new low when I woke up and realized that I couldn't get my kids' birthday celebrations back; they may hit milestones without me and I would eventually become a name on a birth certificate instead of a father who was involved in their special memories," Bohl says.

"The key is changing your behavior before you actually utter the words," he says.

Since doing so, not only has he won back the trust of his family, he's learned to issue an apology that sticks.

My spirit awakened me in prayer and with my sleepy eyes, I began to realize that there was a power using my tongue, quite familiar to me, although I could not understand its language. Even as my heart has been filled to its max capacity, over flowing with the life and love of God through his own youth, resonating his heart in mine…

And I heard the spirit ask the spirit to remember O Lord, the forgotten word that had been put aside from men’s hearts, darkening the hearts of men and women, that their soul sought the idolatry of money, forgetting the fullness of life in the spirit of family.

God, it asked, that you remember yourself upon the hearts of men, that you might be lifted up again upon the tongue of men. Let yourself O Lord, spend a raining down in our dryness and be enlivened again, never to be forgotten, and that you will lift yourself above the heavens, forgiving and sending out grace in abundance, throughout the darkness.

And the Lord went over to the child that he placed life upon, to come to this city, reaching out to a remnant of they who would be gathered unto God for life lessons. How even in his broken ness, that he came forth in it and sought the Lord diligently for our sake, the forgotten, it seems, but the Lord had not forgotten. Breaking forth a stone of the mountain of peace that held it’s own power in glory throughout it’s southern home. Father, I can see where you suffered what seemed like a major death in his life, but that you took his heart and replanted it outside of his comfort zone, that it might father us, who have forgotten our fathers. Lord, I can see where you then gathered the fatherless and broken children from their bindings, bringing forth life back into them, breathing life all about.

I see now, how you have pruned some and birthed new and given a binding of heart that has begun to lift the three dead prophets, spoken up in revelation, that Satan thought he had conquered. But Lord, I can see the dust form new skin upon the bones and sinews, O Lord, I can see the healing waters bringing life back into their soul, breathing your breath of life back into this land.

You, O Lord, who are not done, is flowing over this land, now bringing forth the youth, that they might be the placenta of the womb, that you used here to place seed in the belly of this city, God I can see you birthing new children and restoring the old, I Lord can see the heart of the city reaching back into your arms, like an old dead lover, that was about to be buried, reaching forth out of her casket, fresh and alive and a newborn babe, full of pregnancy. God you are victorious and the rest that I cannot speak, you have spoken in words that I could not understand, but could see the spirit of.

God, I pray that you reach back into the lives of these children that have come and as they are our second wave, come forth our of a place of holiness, I ask that you secure their futures and place wisdom on their tongues, Hallelujah, Lord, set forth protection over their futures and growth, for they have done a thing that we could not for our dryness. You Lord have breathed life back into this nation, through the pains of this city and others, Look Lord, now after their heart and the heart of their homes and families. Bring love, encouragement and grace with healing unto them. These that have poured out their heart unto us, rain upon them as a latter rain that came in season unto us and they, Bless their going and coming, be a love in their lives, and the rest that I cannot speak, begin to bring forth in their life.

I pray that their hearts never be broken, except to glorify you.

Be a light in us Lord, that you might equip us with armor upon our whole body. Cover our nakedness Father with your love and let us be a new light shining forth for you, bless us O Lord with a sword lit up like the day, that when we move it with our tongue, darkness has to flee and be no more…

God, we are yours, now take these tears in my heart and be as dew upon the new morning, let us rise up and be conquers of your purpose in our lives…

Dangerously closer to Christ for having spent so much time with the students in his presence...

So, after a joyous 32 names being added to the heart of God by decision, we ask that each of us pray for them that has decided to take Jesus on their journey. Of course, there are a number of us from MSNY that are connecting with each and every one of them, but quite frankly, it is the HS students from NC, who gave up two weeks of their summer fun time, that reached out to these new souls and for that we rejoice...

To force a human spirit into a box is to ask them bluntly to rebel.

Love lives with open arms and foot space.

The LAW is not a prescription for death but a description of sin’s folly.

We fall because we choose not to walk with relationship in the father.

His ways are so simple that it is past finding out.

Simply love one another neighborly (respectfully).

As one writer puts it... to love is to prepare for our reception, if you will but receive my love... but if you choose not, it will still be there for you, however you limit yourself to it.

Religion is a class system set up by those who think themselves first and all else peons.

Cleaning up my inbox finally... 1788 spams  35MB

Guys, I must confess something...

When authority meets authority, humility makes purposed progress flow smooth.